


what you think you know

by ace_corvid



Series: Core Disaster Week 2020 [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Impulse (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Superboy (Comics), Young Justice (Comics)
Genre: Also the Flash Family have family dinners fight me, Crushes, Fluff, Like he's not a villain but in terms of villainy he's an ambiguous handwave, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, They're all under the impression that this is a love triangle, Vaguely Redeemed Thaddeus Thawne, also LET LOIS BE KON'S MUM, dumb boys in love, good sibling relationships, this is not the case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25432117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ace_corvid/pseuds/ace_corvid
Summary: The question: When you're crushing on your best friends, who do you talk to about it?The answer: Your unwilling siblings, who think you're incredibly dumb.(Alternatively; Tim, Kon and Bart are all pining, and everyone else has to hear about it.)
Relationships: Barry Allen & Bart Allen, Bart Allen & Thaddeus Thawne, Bart Allen/Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake, Jonathan Kent & Kon-El | Conner Kent, Kon-El | Conner Kent & Lois Lane
Series: Core Disaster Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838791
Comments: 24
Kudos: 190
Collections: Core Disaster Week 2020





	what you think you know

**Author's Note:**

> day 3 babey  
> i struggled with this and i dont even like it, but here it is. it's very dialogue heavy and im just. pls pity kudos lol  
> i feel like i could use some help on these characterisations, but the only way i'm going to get better is by practicing, so
> 
> TUESDAY- BODY SWAP | **MUTUAL PINING**  
>  (yes i know i'm choosing all of the prompts on the left side, shut up)

“Cass, they don't like me like that.” Tim moaned into his French fry, disrespecting the laws of physics by sinking deeper into the fake leather of the booth. “Neither of them like me like that.”

The weight of Cassandra Cain's eyes is heavier than a cartoon anvil dropping suddenly onto his head. It takes effort not to wince back from her stare. Bruce could take tips from her glaring. Like, God, Tim loves his sister, but she's so scary.

Every part of her body language is screaming at him that he's an idiot. He's not exactly arguing.

“I'm serious, ok? I'm a moron who got a crush on not one, but _two_ of my best friends and now I just have to deal with the consequences.” Tim argued. “And I'm pretty sure the only reason I don't have a crush on Cassie is because I'm gay.”

Cass rolled her eyes, and Tim was actually vaguely hurt by it. Somehow, it was almost worse than the stare. Only almost though; he still feels like she's taking him apart with just her eyes.

“You are a moron.” She signed in agreement. “But for different reasons than what you're thinking.

“Ok.” Tim sighed, beginning to pick at this nail polish. “That's fair I guess. But I'm still right.”

“You are not.”

“I _am_.”

“Well,” She signed. “Why wouldn't they feel the same?”

Her eyes dared him to self depreciate and see what happened. He suddenly vividly remembered the time when she'd declared that no one was allowed to talk bad about Tim ever while Jason was poking fun at him, then five minutes later when Tim had made a joke about how much of a loser he was, she had hauled him up by his shirt, looked him dead in the eye and said “That includes you.” So safe to say, Tim needed to be careful about how he phrased this.

“I don't know.” He sighed, yet again. “They're amazing. Bart is so cheerful all the time, I don't know how he does it, and I really respect that, you know. For all that I know he's repressing his apocalyptic trauma, he's genuinely an optimist. I think that takes a lot of strength. It helps that he's cute, and I think I might have a thing for freckles. And all of his jokes make me laugh, even the ones that aren't funny, because he makes me happy just being around. And Kon is my rock. I lean on him, and he has my back, and I trust him so, so much that it almost hurts. Like, he's gorgeous and loyal and could bench press me. Really, the question is who wouldn't fall in love with him?”

“And then there's me.” He ran a hand through his hair and took a forlorn sip of his boba tea. He was exhausted enough that he would usually rub his eyes, but Stephanie did his eyeliner this morning, and he didn't want to know what would happen if she saw it smudged.

Cassandra tensed across the booth from him. “What do you mean by that?” She emphasised her signs sharply.

“I'm just. Me. Is all.” Tim shrugged. “This isn't even a self doubt thing. I just know they don't like me like that, ok? They're both happy and amazing and I'm sure they'll eventually figure out that they're in love with each other, but I'm happy just to be their best friend.”

“You want more though.” Cassandra blinked, like she couldn't understand. No one reads body language like Cass, and sometimes she has a hard time knowing just how much other people really see. And Tim can't afford to let himself hope that she really does see something between them all that Tim doesn't.

“But why would I risk what I have?” Tim countered, his leg bouncing with anxiousness. “When they died it nearly killed me. How could I risk ruining everything and losing them for a mere chance that they _do_ like me that way, especially when I'm certain that they don't?”

There was a long, tense pause before Cass got up to sit next to Tim, so close that she was practically on his lap, before hugging him close. He didn't know what she saw that made her think that he needed a hug, but he wasn't complaining.

“If that's what you want to think, little brother.” Cass finally signed, and that was the end of that. “But you're wrong.”

Ah, siblings. Always have to have the last word.

* * *

“Lois, they don't like me that way.” Conner whined as his pseudo-mother snorted.

“Oh sure.” Lois Lane, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, actually _chortled_. “Sure, Kon. And Jon didn't get hit in the head with a drone the other day while flying.”

“I _told_ you,” Jon yelled from the living room into where they were sitting in the kitchen. “They're much easier to miss that you'd think. It's easy to make fun of me when you can't fly! You don't know our pain.”

She raised her eyebrow, leaning against the kitchen island, not even wrinkling her immaculately pressed suit. It took a very particular kind of person to be the only human in a family of Supers, and Lois Lane was it. She managed to make a simple lean look intimidating, which terrifyingly reminded him of the Bats subtle fear tactics. She was pure dynamite and Kon adored her; she didn't even scold him when Kon called Clark out on his bullshit unless Kon was the one being an ass. Which, he can admit, sometimes he might be. Potentially. A small percentile of the time.

“Kon, what's the verdict on that?”

“Kid, I can safely say I've literally never been hit by a drone by flying that wasn't engineered by the Bats. Bat drones are a different story though.” Kon shrugged.

“It _might_ have been a Bat drone. I dunno, I wouldn't put it past Damian.” Jon perked up hopefully. Lois obviously had not been letting this one die.

“If it was a Bat drone, you'd know about it. They're hard to mistake.” Kon pointed out, and watched his (kind of sort of) little brother's dreams die. “You probably just flew head first into a drone like a dumbass.”

“Language.” Lois quipped idly, but she was smiling. She liked it when they got along.

“Like you've never done anything embarrassing while flying” Jon muttered petulantly under his breath.

“Correct. I haven't.” Kon agreed easily, making Jon scowl.

“Didn't you fly into a billboard recently?” Lois asked, her voice simultaneously saccharine and sharp. “A _Target_ billboard?”

Jon burst out laughing as it was Kon's turn to scowl.

“This isn't about that.” Kon quickly changed the subject. “This is about how I managed to get a crush on two of my best friends and I don't wanna ruin our friendship so what do I _do_?”

“Tim and Bart?” Jon asked. “Just ask them out. They like you back.”

“See?” Lois threw her hands into the air. “I tried telling him that but the boy won't listen to reason, Jon.”

“Because you're wrong.” Kon argued back. “Neither of them like me like that, I think I would know.”

“Evidently _not_.” Jon laughed. “I don't need to have super vision to see that you're all totally grossly in love with each other.”

“I think your powers are failing you again.” Kon smirked.

“Shut up, you can't even see that you have boyfriends. You're practically dating already.” He stuck his tongue out like the dumb little child Kon knew he was. “Besides, it's not even just me and mom who see it. Damian literally called you all dumb oblivious lovesick fools the other day.”

“Wasn't Damian supposed to be making an effort to be nicer?” Kon raised an eyebrow.

“That was Damian being nice.” Jon deadpanned. It sounded so resigned that even Lois barked out a laugh.

“You're all seeing things.” Kon declared. “Tim and Bart are going to go off into the sunset and I'm going to be left a tired spinster with nobody to love me.”

“You know what.” Jon crossed his arms. “You're right. That was totally the vibe I got when once, during a potentially apocalyptic mission, I saw Bart take the time to stare at your ass while you were doing inventory. Never mind when I saw Tim, a _Bat_ , walk into a wall last week when you bent over.”

“You saw them do _what-_?”

* * *

“Bart.” Thaddeus snapped from Barry's couch. “I literally could not care less about your fucking boy toys, ok?”

“They're not my boy toys.” Bart pouted back. “That'd literally the point. Haven't you been listening?”

“No.” Thad said testily. Barry snorted from the hallway.

“Bart, I really do think you're stressing over nothing.” Barry ruffled his impossibly fluffy hair as he walked past. “Tim and Conner are both nice boys. Even if they don't reciprocate your feelings, they won't stop being your friends.”

“You don't get it gramps, ok?” Bart cuddled a cushion close, his voice partially muffled by it as he complained. “Tim and Kon are like soulmates? Have you ever seen them interact?”

“I have had the unfortunate displeasure of seeing them make heart eyes at each other across a room, yes.” Thad groaned. “That doesn't mean they weren't also making heart eyes at you.”

Bart dropped the pillow, sat up and gaped at his vaguely redeemed clone.

“Thaddeus Thawne the second.” Bart gasped reverently. “Are you trying to make me _feel better_?”

Thad scowled so hard it's a wonder his face didn't crease, while Barry watched on proudly, and Wally peered his head in from the kitchen to stare in shock.

“ _No_.” Thad growled, and holy shit he was _blushing_. “That's just logic, ok?”

“Still,” Bart shrugged, a manic sort of high energy, not exactly positive, more like a down swing on a sugar rush. “They're like, a pair. That's just them. It's Tim and Kon, Kon and Tim. And then Bart. Third wheel extraordinaire.”

“That's not true.” Barry tried to comfort him, while Thaddeus nodded.

“Let's face it.” Bart dramatically threw himself back on the couch. “They're Jessie and James. And I'm fucking Meowth.”

“Sounds about right.” Thaddeus snarked. “Young Justice are about as competent as Team Rocket.”

“Ok one, I can't believe you got that reference. Two, well, I mean- we beat _you_ didn't we?”

“Shut up.” Thaddeus deadpanned.

“Does that make you Ash?” Bart mused, a smirk clear as day on his face. “Actually no, we make lightning when we run, so it only makes sense that you'd be Pikachu.”

“I'm fucking turning back to villainy.” Thad griped, tossing a pillow at Bart which he dodged effortlessly.

“Sure you are.” All of the speedsters spoke in sync.

“And as for Tim and Conner, Bart,” Barry looked up encouragingly. “I think you'd be surprised with what would happen if you went for it.”

“Ah, yes.” Bart grinned maniacally. “Kon, with his chiselled abs-”

“ _Chiselled abs_?” Thad asked, disgusted.

“- _Chiselled abs_ , and Tim, with his stupid gorgeous face, both like me. Essentially a pipe cleaner.”

“I think you're more like a silly straw.” He replied, mimicking a helpful tone while Barry glared at him.

“Thanks Thad.”

“My name is _Thaddeus_ -”

* * *

“Huh. That's strange.” Cassie Sandsmark remarked in the common room of Titans Tower. “I have the oddest feeling that I just dodged a bullet.”

“Because Tim, Kon and Bart aren't here, and none of them will talk about each other to you since you threatened to eject them into the sun if you ever heard any of them say 'I just wanna hold their hand' ever again.” Jaime Reyes deadpanned from the couch.

“Ah, yeah. That checks out. To be fair, they were being insufferable. I had to listen to them pining, and then listen to them not believe me when I told them that the others liked them.” Cassie reasoned.

“And then you couldn't even tell them you knew for sure because of the bro code.” Jaime absently commented, eating a packet of crisps. “Eventually they'll figure it out.”

“You'd hope.” Cassie looked skyward, praying for strength. “God, you'd hope.”

**Author's Note:**

> poor cassie lmao. her burdens are great and heavy
> 
> you can find me at:  
> Tumblr: ace-corvid.tumblr.com  
> Twitter: twitter.com/ace_corvid  
> come yell at me!
> 
> thank you so much for reading, see you next time! And if you enjoyed this, a comment would really make my day!


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